Helicopter Parents

Posted: October 20, 2016 in Education

helicopter02.jpg

*The above image is taken from Jeremy Skow’s Mental Health Counselling website. It is hilarious*

I’ll begin by stating that I am not a parent. So, my thoughts are generated solely from a teacher’s perspective. I am well-aware that my wife and I (she is also a teacher) are in no position to judge the actions of parents/guardians when we have no children ourselves. I’ll just get that out of the way. Also, my objective is to present a view…not judge.

First of all, the term “helicopter parent” is used to describe an overbearing parent who makes decisions for their child(ren) by imposing their will upon them and/or taking an “excessive” interest in their lives (according to Google). I don’t know when a parent’s interest in the life of their child becomes “excessive”, but I find the latter half of that definition intriguing.

Parents should take an interest in their child and there are times when they will need to make decisions for them, so the question becomes: When does a parent need to back off and when do they need to take a more hands-on approach? Is there an age we can label students with or is it a maturity label that we need?

The statistics from a Michigan State University study (2015, I think) claims that:
1. 4% of parents attended their child’s interview for a part-time job
2. 12% of parents were the ones who setup their child’s interview for a part-time job
3. 15% of parents made complaints to businesses when their child was not hired
4. 31% of parents submitted their child’s resume for them

Again I’ll ask, at what point should a student start advocating for themselves?
I don’t have the answer for that.

A “helicopter parent” can lead to a “teacup child”. A teacup child is: a cherished possession of their parent; capable of breaking easily; always on display for others to see; only fed high-quality tea; and a reflection of the status of the parent.

Essentially, the child could end up more maladjusted to life even though the intent of the parent is pure and good-hearted. Though, as the saying goes, best intentions do not guarantee desirable outcomes. This is where the “bubble-wrapped generation” term comes from – It is a reference to children who don’t fall down because they don’t take risks because they were coddled for far too long or far too often. The future consequences of a child incapable of taking risks or knowing what it’s like to fail and try again can be insurmountable. Helicopter parenting can also cause anxiety in a child and it can be a detriment to a child’s ability to problem solve – the latter being a key component in most careers and often a quality more sought after in a candidate than grades.

To revert for a moment back to the “teacup” analogy, the overall belief is that a child from an over-bearing parent can do no wrong, but the reality is that they can and those parents should let them. They are human. There needs to be room for personal growth through self-discovery and perseverance.

But again, what do I know?

 

 

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Comments
  1. Will Stone says:

    Agree completely, but it’s easy to see why helicopter parenting is becoming not more popular. With the financial difficulties my generation is going to suffer with, we will need parental help to get on the property ladder. Until then, we are more likely to be living at home, and it’s difficult for a parent not to take an opportunity to offer short-term help if their child is in such close proximity to them. Maybe it’s not sensible, but it’s at least understandable!

    • dmitrilee says:

      Hey Wil, thanks for the comment. I appreciate you taking the time to do that. You make a great point – a lot of my friends still live at home due to rising property costs (especially in my area). It’s tough to get started. I completely agree. And with that being said, what parent wouldn’t help their kid just to avoid a helicopter label? Probably not many. Great comment. Thanks again.

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